What is common between exhausting perfectionism, underestimated self -esteem and difficult fate? Quite often, this is the inability and unwillingness to notice their shadow sides, including their valuable properties. How to find them? And is it possible to agree with them?
“In order to work with your shadow, you need to understand that this is not a monster,” says KOUCH Alexander Savkin. – This is a kind of warehouse where things are marked as “terrible” and “unacceptable”. And we spend a colossal amount of energy on holding under the castle of
the whole “bad”.
But it is in this warehouse that gold is located, since our talents, uniqueness, beauty, “realness” are hidden in our shadows. The task of working with a shadow is to get and integrate this gold in order to reveal your unique potential, solve complex problems and change life ”.
How to integrate shadow parts and release this energy? Alexander Savkin uses the methods of gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, psychodrama and psychosynthesis. The case from his practice helps to see how it works.
Difficult task
Once a man came to my coach session, who was offered a new position at work. The problem is that the person who occupied it earlier left behind the unclosed issues and unresolved tasks, and in the projects there were many ambiguous moments that are vulnerable from a legal point of view.
Alexey (so let’s call the client), he understood: if he agrees to this position, then all the problems will hang on it. And was very scared. He realized that it was more correct to refuse, but for this he could be fired.
Since it was always difficult for anyone to refuse Alexei, he rehearsed all evening in front of the mirror, as he would say “no”. The next morning, the director called him to the office and asked: “You agree to this position?”At that moment, the client wanted to refuse, but inside something ordered to agree, which he did.
What made my client say yes “yes”? His shadow, which for many years has a little poisoned his life, and now manifested in all its glory. So that the client can get acquainted with his shadow and reduce its influence, we used a methodology on the coach session that has repeatedly helped in such cases.
Step 1. Describe the situation and use a bodily metaphor
The situation itself does not give answers. Therefore, having described it, we turned to the client’s body questions. After all, it is connected with the unconscious: it does not lend itself to the tricks of the mind and never lies. I asked Alexei: “If the cause of the shadow was in your body, then with which part it would be associated?”To which he replied:” Somewhere in the area of the solar plexus “.
When I asked him to imagine the image of this shadow part, the client called the Korshun: “A very predatory and evil kite, in whose eyes hatred is read”. So he created a visible image of his sensation, and we moved to the next step.