Speaking about smartphones and computers, we are categorical: it is certainly useful and necessary, but evil. Family psychologist Katerina Demina has a different opinion: gadgets have more pluses than minuses, and even more so they cannot cause conflicts in the family.
PSYCHOLOGIES: Home Evening – Mom corresponds to the messenger, dad plays at the computer, the child looks at YouTube. Tell me, it’s okay?
Katerina Demina: This is fine. This is a way to relax. And if, in addition to hovering in gadgets, family members take time to chat with each other, then generally good. I remember the whole family – three children and three adults – went to rest at sea. In order to save money, they rented a small apartment in a tiny village. In the evenings we went to the same coastal cafe and, waiting for the order, sat, buried each in their phone. We probably looked like a bad scattered family. But in fact, we spent the nose for three weeks, and the Internet was caught only in this cafe. Gadgets – the opportunity to be alone with their thoughts.
In addition, in your history, we are most likely about a teenager. Because the preschooler will not let you sit in a chat or online game. He will take your soul out of you: for him the time spent with dad and mom is very valuable. And for a teenager leisure with parents is the most low in life. For him, communication with peers is much more important.
And if we talk about a couple? Husband and wife come home from work and, instead of rushing in embrace to each other, get into the devices.
At the initial stage of relations, when everything burns and melts, nothing can distract you from a loved one. But over time, the distance between partners increases because we cannot burn all the time. And gadgets are a modern way to build this very distance in pairs. Previously, a garage, fishing, drinking, TV, friends-girlfriends, “I went to a neighbor, and you stir the
porridge” were served for the same purpose.
We cannot constantly be with someone in a merger. Tired – took the phone, looked on Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia) or Instagram (extremist organization banned in Russia). At the same time, we can lie nearby in bed and read each of our tape, showing each other some funny things, discussing read. And this is our form of proximity. But we can be together all the time and at the same time hate each other.
But do not phones and computers cause conflicts when a close one “runs away” in them, but we cannot reach him?
Gadgets cannot be the cause of conflicts, just like an ax cannot be accused of murder, and a pen should be appointed responsible for the writer’s talent. Smartphones and tablets – a device for exchangeing. Including metaphorical – varying degrees of proximity or aggressiveness. Perhaps relations have long been cracking at the seams, so the husband, having come home from work, gets into the computer. He could find a mistress, start drinking, but chose computer games. And the wife is trying to reach..
It happens that a person has no close relationship, only gadgets, because it is easier with them. Is it dangerous?
Are we confusing the cause and consequence? People who are not able to build relationships were always. Previously, they chose loneliness or relationship for money, today they find refuge in the virtual world. I remember we discussed with a 15-year-old teenager what the perfect relationship with a girl he sees for himself. And he pathetically said: “I want, when I need it, she was at the elbow. And when not needed, I did not shine “. But this is the relationship of the baby with the mother! I tried to explain to him for a long time that it was infantile. Now the young man has grown up and builds an adult relationship ..
The flight to the virtual world is often characteristic of those who have not matured and are not able to take out another person next to them. But gadgets only illustrate this, and do not cause the reason. But the teenager has gadget dependence – a really dangerous state. If he does not want to study, he has no friends, he does not walk, plays all the time, beat the alarm and immediately seek help. This may be a symptom of depression!